Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Review: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim


For anyone addicted to release-date gaming, this November has been a grueling month, each week stuffed to bursting with high-profile new games. It’s been the kind of hectic month that April is for certified public accountants, though probably with a lot more software patches. 

This week, we’ll be running the numbers on Skyrim, the fifth and latest installment in Bethesda Softworks’ flagship role-playing franchise The Elder Scrolls. (Note that this is the last time I will use the word “scrolls”, because like Notch (the indie developer behind Minecraft—I don’t feel it particularly embodies the spirit of the series. Plus I’m afraid of getting sued.)

Design: 5/5

If you’ve never played Bethesda games (such as Morrowind, Oblivion, Fallout 3, or New Vegas) before, they’re best summed up by one word: MASSIVE. Starting a Bethesda game is like reliving your own birth: after a short tutorial in a safe, warm dungeon, you are expelled into an enormous and confusing world full of hostile beings, most of whom are trying to kill you. Like its predecessor Oblivion, the game world of Skyrim spans about 16 square miles to scale (approximately two-thirds the size of Manhattan) and has around 150 dungeons, nearly all of which are completely accessible from the moment you step out of your little instructional womb. While environments this expansive are impressive for any role-playing game, they come across as even more amazing when presented in this unfettered open-world style.

In Skyrim, the shortest distance between two points almost always involves a mountain.

The down side of a game this enormous is that technical glitches are almost a certainty. Like past Bethesda games, Skyrim has its fair share of bugs, though in my experience they’ve been of stereotypical and fairly harmless varieties, such as occasional missing textures, erratic AI behavior, and one or two “outside the map” glitches. I found they had little impact on my gameplay—especially for a compulsive game-saver such as myself—and so far I’m inclined (as with other Bethesda games) to overlook them.

What really impresses me about the design of Skyrim are those few minor changes made from Oblivion that have had an enormous impact, such as improvements to the leveling system. In Oblivion, your character gained a level whenever he/she had sufficiently advanced specific favorite skills. However, the improvements to your statistics (e.g. strength or dexterity) depended on how much you had improved those and other skills. For example, let’s say you were a heavily armored, warhammer-wielding orc. If you wanted to make sure that by level 40 you were at least as dexterous as your average severe stroke victim, you couldn’t just work on increasing your “speed” attribute as part of normal gameplay. Instead, you had to go off and pick 100 locks or spend 15 minutes swimming in circles whenever you were about to advance to your next level. In Skyrim, on the other hand, most of your attributes are derived from your skills. If you start off as a mage but decide later to dabble in a little swordsmanship, it won’t take much practice before your spindly, atrophied arms are swinging that broadsword like a pro. It’s a subtle difference that has a huge effect on the gameplay.

Artistic: 4/5

Aesthetically, the province of Skyrim is cold, blue-tinged, and harshly lit, like someone took a Jason Bourne movie on an arctic expedition. Hiking along icy rivers and up jagged mountains, I found the landscape to be dangerously beautiful—the kind of place that makes you want to let your guard down and enjoy the view, and then murders you with a savage pack of snow wolves. Just to give you an idea of how much of an impact these visuals had on me: whenever my character stepped out of the cold to sit by the fire of the nearest mead hall, in real life I actually felt warmer.

So pretty, I’ve almost forgotten about that polar bear that’s about to rip my head off.

From a purely technical perspective, however, the graphics of Skyrim certainly aren’t groundbreaking. Look too closely, and you’ll find plenty of sub-standard elements, like lackluster textures or rocks that appear to be made with only a handful of polygons. It’s a bit of a problem, and one that’s exacerbated on the Xbox 360 by the texture loading issues with hard-drive installations (for which there will apparently be a patch). Nevertheless, what Skyrim lacks in brute force, it makes up for in finesse.

Narrative: 4/5

The question of narrative is a difficult one for a game like Skyrim. A “story” is basically a distillation of reality with respect to a particular point of view. How do you tell a single story when you’ve created an entire world? In other words, a concept as limiting as “plot” is almost too small for Skyrim.

Oh, I see now... it says “dragon” right up there.
And here I thought I was fighting some other kind of giant, scaly, fire-breathing thing. 

Of course, there is an over-arching story line, which to be completely honest, I haven’t even finished yet (and it’s within the realm of possibility that I may not do so for the next 80 hours of gameplay). It seems reasonable enough, plodding along with some forgettable characters and mediocre voice acting. From what I have gleaned so far, it has something to do with dragons, which is really the only thing you need to know, because it means you get to have a blast killing some dragons.

For me, the meat of the game is really the ridiculous number of “side quests”, so much so that they should probably just be called “quests”. There’s an amazing number of things you can do, such as become a mercenary, join a secret brotherhood of assassins, go to college to be a mage, or fight in a rebellion against (or for) the Imperial army. From a narrative point of view, the only issue with all these choices is that a completionist like me will want to do them all, meaning that by the end of the game, your character ends up as some sort of ridiculous mercenary-assassin-wizard-rebel-type person, i.e. a schizophrenic.

Gameplay: 5/5

In Skyrim, gameplay has three main aspects: exploration, character development, and questing. Much of the game follows a basic yet rewarding formula: wander around until you find a dungeon, slay its inhabitants while you gain a level or two, and then rifle through the resulting mountain of corpses and steal anything of value. If you’re the sort of person who thinks that “fun” is spending a few hours wandering around hunting enough animals for pelts and picking enough herbs to make yourself a nice little leather cuirass and matching health potion, then Skyrim is for you.

Don’t be fooled. Just because those NPC’s look different, it doesn’t mean they aren’t all voiced by the same actor.

While Skyrim—like most Bethesda games—isn’t really about combat, there have been some definite improvements that make it much more palatable. The most notable is the ability to dual-wield. For instance, instead of a sword and a shield or a two-handed weapon, you could choose to fight with a sword and a fistful of fireballs, or by casting a different spell with each hand. When combined with the option to “favorite” certain items and spells in your inventory, the dual-wielding makes playing the game as a mage almost a reasonable option... almost.

Summary

If you’ve played and enjoyed Bethesda games before, then Skyrim shouldn’t disappoint. If you haven’t—but do fancy yourself an RPG fan—then Skyrim’s obvious improvements over past games make it an excellent place to start. Just be sure to bundle up, because it’s a bit nippy out there.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Review: Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Deus Ex: Human Revolution is the third and latest entry in the Deus Ex franchise, a series of first-person action role-playing games set in a dystopian future full of sunglass-wearing cyborgs. For those of you new to the series, here’s a helpful little timeline:

2000. The original Deus Ex comes out, giving PC gamers and cyberpunk fans an innovative new gaming experience, which keeps them occupied while people with actual lives are off drinking Budweiser and dancing to Thong Song by Sisqó.

2011 (The Present). I play Deus Ex: Human Revolution for the Xbox 360, subsequently composing this scintillating review.

2027 (16 years in the future). The events of Human Revolution take place. Not only has the advent of cybernetic technology blurred the lines between man and machine, it also has somehow led to everyone keeping their important belongings (i.e. money, booze, and weapons) in unlocked drawers, sewer drains, and easily accessible man-sized air vents.

2052 (another 25 years after that). The events of the original Deus Ex take place. Everyone notices that in the past 25 years, the world’s graphics just don’t seem as good, and the selection of available cybernetic augmentations has somehow gotten markedly less awesome. However, Deus Ex fanboys argue that everything is better than whatever happened 25 years ago.

Design: 3 / 5

For the most part, Human Revolution tries to recapture the spirit of the original Deus Ex. The core philosophy of both games is that a truly immersive gaming experience should support a variety of play styles.

Presenting Adam Jensen, your protagonist.
I’d say he’s half man and half machine, but it’s really more like 3/4 machine, 1/8 gravely voice, and 1/8 sunglasses.

Let’s say it’s your goal to get inside a particular locked room. In Deus Ex, you can choose to tackle this challenge via any one of the following approaches:
  1. Kill the guard and hack the electronic door lock.
  2. Knock out the guard, draw a penis on his forehead in permanent marker, and then search his unconscious body for the door code.
  3. Chat up the guard with a little “Hey, how ’bout that whole ‘guarding things’ thing... sucks, am I right?” and then convince him to let you in.
  4. Climb through an air vent in the next room and use your bad-ass robotic arms to punch through the adjoining wall.
  5. Do #4 above, but then kill the guard on your way out for good measure.
The extent to which you will be successful in any one of these approaches depends on your character’s particular set of abilities. Using software upgrades called “Praxis Kits”, you can unlock different cybernetic abilities (or “augments”) that let you excel in different styles of game play. For example, one ability allows you to sneak around more quietly, while another lets you release pheromones that make you more persuasive. There’s also one that instantly vaporizes any nearby life form into a bloody mist by way of a lethal cloud of high-speed metal bearings. Although very cool, this one is somewhat less useful than the pheromones when Adam Jensen is on a date.

Just because you made a pretty loading screen doesn’t mean I want to stare at it for 60 seconds every time I fuck up.

Considering how many ways you can approach nearly every aspect in the game, the developers did a decent job keeping the game balanced and relatively bug-free. I tried a few different character builds, and they all were fun and playable. I had heard that the boss fights were a little unforgiving toward non-combat play styles, but even when playing with a non-lethal stealth character, I didn’t find them to be out-of-step with the difficulty of the rest of the game.

I did have a few issues with the game design, however. First, the control scheme isn’t the best around, and routine things like readying/equipping weapons and using items were a lot more cumbersome than they need to be. This wasn’t too much of a problem for the pacifist ninja I played most of the game as, but I could see it being quite frustrating for a combat build. A much bigger issue was that the load times were frustratingly long. I don’t know if I’ve just been spoiled by the seamless loading strategies of other games, but by the end of Human Revolution, I was literally choosing my course of action based on what was the least likely to return me to that damned loading screen.

Artistic: 4 / 5

For the most part, there’s not much about the aesthetics of Human Revolution that will knock your socks off.  There’s only so many ways you can can rip off Blade Runner, and with light-up umbrellas off the table, options are somewhat limited.

The streets of modern Hengsha. It reminds me of the old saying: “Visions of a dystopian future are like assholes: everyone has one, and they’re usually dark, brown, and full of toxic pollution.”

However, the game does manage to put a few of its own small twists on a tired genre. While most of today’s companies would have us believe that our future will be full of smooth, elegant curves like one big iMac in an evening dress, the world of Human Revolution is decidedly angular. Triangles appear to be the most fashionable shape one can wear, and most of the buildings and vehicles could have been designed by Volvo. Even Jensen’s chin is aggressively pointed, like his goatee is coming to attack you. It’s a solid motif, and helps convince me that some genuine thought went into the art design of the game.

Yelena Fedorova: voted worst-dressed villain of 2027.

Narrative: 4 / 5

If you can suspend enough belief to get past its idiosyncrasies, the world of Human Revolution can be quite enthralling. Although Jensen has the charisma of Keanu Reeves pretending to be a paperweight, his story is set against the backdrop of an ideological clash between the corporations that want to further the goal of human augmentation and factions that wish to resist and/or eradicate it. Throughout the missions, I was exposed to a number of opinions on both sides of this massive societal struggle, and I found it to be an interesting and believable setting for the events of the game.

Honestly, the thing that kept pulling me out of the game is what I call the “douche factor”. Since Jensen is a cold, monotone, and fairly unlikable character, it seemed like the game designers tried to force me to empathize with him using a simple strategy: making everyone else in the game more unlikeable. Sure, Jensen may seem like kind of a hard-ass, but wait until you meet Frank Pritchard, the douchey IT guy at his company, or David Sarif, his douchey boss. Compared to these pricks, Jensen seems like a swell guy. In fact, pretty much everyone you’ll meet in this game is kind of a jerk, which might explain why so many people are trying to kill you.

Gameplay: 4 / 5

If I had to sum up Human Revolution with one word, it would be choice. I’m not talking about the bullshit moral choices of games like Mass EffectFable, or inFamous, where you basically have to decide at the beginning of the game if you’re going to play as a bloodthirsty sociopath or a benevolent doormat, depending on which path gets you the coolest stuff. I’m talking about playing the game as though you’re a real person. Perhaps you’re the type of guy who tries not to kill people, unless it’s really convenient. On the other hand, maybe you like to put as many bullets in bodies as possible, but decide to talk your way past a guard just that once. In other words, instead of your character being a one-dimensional caricature of a moral being, Human Revolution (like its predecessor) allows you to approach each situation individually, weighing strategic concerns, moral issues, and your own personal preferences to determine your way through each challenge.


This whole computer hacking thing seems a bit unnecessary, considering this guy probably wrote out his password on a Post-It and left it next to his keyboard. 

Unfortunately, if this whole choice thing doesn’t sound that interesting to you, then I have to tell you that a lot of the other gameplay elements are lacking. By combining elements of a shooter, a stealth action game, and a role-playing game, Human Revolution is jack-of-all-trades and master of none. If you’re looking to experience high quality gaming in any of these other genres, you’ll find better experiences elsewhere.

Summary

Without a doubt, the original Deus Ex was a landmark experience that brought something new to the world of gaming, and as its heir, Human Revolution goes a long way at recapturing the spirit of the original. While it has some quirks, and may annoy the hell out of you at times, Human Revolution is still worth checking out, especially for those of you who are new to the world of Deus Ex. Now, it’s time for me to go... I think my save game is almost done loading.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Thoughts on the iPhone 4S (By a Former Android User)

On a cold Friday night in October, I found myself standing in an unmoving queue on a dark and poorly-maintained sidewalk outside a UPS distribution center. Clutched in my hand was a tattered scrap of official-looking paper, which dispassionately stated that my iPhone 4S “could not be delivered’, and that someone would “try again on Monday”. As I glanced around at the people standing in line with me (well over a hundred in all), I saw that many of them wore the same expression as I did—a mix of shame, fear, and despair that reminded me of a domestic abuse victim as she tells her doctor the black eye happened when she “ran into a door.”

Then, the night sky opened up, and as the rain came down in sheets, I looked up and thought in horror: “My god... what kind of a smartphone can get people to do this to themselves? What has happened to me??

A few weeks have passed since that night, and I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’m now an iPhone user. To help me cope with this transformation, I’d like to share some of my thoughts on this strange new device in my life.

My Old Phone

In Hell, this is the same exact phone
that Satan makes Hitler use.
To understand my perspective, you need to know where I’m coming from. I’ve been a Verizon Wireless customer as long as I’ve had a cell phone (at least 10 years), and about two years ago, I bought my first smartphone ever: the HTC Droid Eris.

I can say without hyperbole that this phone is one of the worst pieces of technology ever produced. With its woefully underpowered hardware and abysmal battery life, the Eris possesses a level of usability and functionality slightly below that of a cardboard cutout of a Motorola RAZR. Somewhere, there is a line that separates poor engineering design from criminal negligence; upon finding that line, the creators of the Eris leapt gleefully over it, so they could have a picnic with the designers of the Ford Pinto and the people who said asbestos was safe. Hell, those bastards even had the cojones to name this abomination after the Greek goddess of discord, and discord is exactly what the Eris created in my life every single time I used it.

The iPhone 4S

I always thought that having your desktop
completely filled up with icons was a bad thing,
but apparently Apple thinks that’s how your
world should look all the time.
Given that my last phone was so terrible, it’s hard for me to evaluate how the iPhone 4S compares to the other smartphones on the market right now. In other words, if it were a meal, the iPhone 4S could be filet mignon or it could be day-old Taco Bell... either way, I’ve been eating dog shit for the past two years, so it tastes pretty good to me. Especially when paired with the beefed-up hardware of the 4S, iOS 5 is fast, responsive, and everything just plain works. (Well, almost everything works.) The entire experience is so seamless that even the gratuitous animations such as zooming icons, swirling windows, and the like—which always enraged me when using a Mac computer—seem far less offensive.

Having used a number of Apple products before, I was able to prepare myself for the idiosyncrasies of the iPhone interface. As an avid PC user, I’ve become accustomed to certain things, such as a second mouse button and the general feeling that my computer doesn’t view me as a complete and total moron who needs to be protected from himself. However, in switching to the iPhone, I knew I would be entering Apple’s One-Button Toddler Fun Park. For someone like me who actually likes all the buttons on the standard Android phone (menu, back, home, search, call, cancel, and a trackball), it has definitely been an adjustment. I’ve been getting used to a single home button that performs a variety of different actions depending on the context, while trying to pick up any slack in the user interface with a combination of haphazard finger swipes and swearing. While I understand Apple’s obsession with simplicity of visual design, I really think it would behoove them to relax their one-button rule. If nothing else, they could redirect the massive amount of development resources they currently funnel into arcane finger-gesture research.

The Apps

One of the main reasons I made the switch to the iPhone was the apps. Although the Android app store has come a long way, the fact remains that nearly every Android app falls into one of three categories: (1) useful apps that would never be allowed on the iPhone, (2) shitty apps that would never be allowed on the iPhone, and (3) half-assed ports of apps that were originally developed for the iPhone. Although I certainly will miss offerings from the first category (like my Android NES and SNES emulators, as well as my app that provided free laptop tethering), I can do without the other two types.

Here are some of my favorites:

RunKeeper. This is my favorite exercise tracking app... in fact, my addiction to RunKeeper on my old phone was probably the only thing that kept me from shoving it down the garbage disposal. Since this app was actually designed for the iPhone, I’m finally getting use it as the RunKeeping gods intended, instead of struggling with its bug-laden Android counterpart. (Although, the Android version did have one advantage—you could turn on airplane mode, and RunKeeper would still receive GPS information with no problems. No such luck on the iPhone.)

MapQuest 4 Mobile. Believe it or not, MapQuest still exists, and they’ve decided to celebrate this fact by providing a free (yes, free!) navigation app with audible turn-by-turn directions. Although not the best navigator out there, you can’t argue with the price. It certainly takes some of the sting out of no longer having access to Google Navigation.

CardStar. This app lets you ditch your wallet full of loyalty/discount cards by scanning them all into its database. By the time I was done setting it up, I actually needed a smaller wallet because the few cards that were left kept falling out from all the space. The only problem with the app is that it makes using these cards painless, and so I no longer harbor the level of resentment towards stores that have their own discount cards that such places truly deserve.

Evernote. Basically an eidetic memory that you can download, this app lets you store the contents of your entire brain outside of your own head. ’Nuff said.

Siri

Supposedly the big game-changer for the 4S is “Siri”, the iPhone’s new “personal assistant”. Using voice commands, Siri can be instructed to perform a number of tasks, such as sending text messages, making appointments, or finding directions. Though Siri is fairly limited in what she can do, in my experience the voice recognition results have been excellent. I use her especially often for composing text messages, because trying to use that godsforsaken touch-screen keyboard is basically like trying to type with your feet.

I have my new personal assistant deal with all those unpleasant little parts of life I don’t wish to handle myself.
The biggest problem with Siri is that the voice processing seems to be done remotely. Thus, any time that she can’t reach that special place in Skynet that her answers come from, she’s basically useless.

iPhone Games

As this is allegedly a gaming blog, I suppose I should take a minute to talk about games. One of the reasons I was excited about getting an iPhone is that I don’t currently have a mobile gaming system. Although a smartphone is hardly a fair substitute for a Nintendo 3DS or a PSP, it’s certainly better than the other alternative, which is actually talking to the other person in the car with you.

Since I tend toward the action-adventure and RPG genres, I started with Chaos Rings (Media.Vision / Square Enix) and Infinity Blade (Chair / Epic Games). Chaos Rings is a J-RPG cast in Square Enix’s typical style, and its release last year marked the company’s first original RPG for the iPhone. Technically speaking, the game is well-executed, featuring effective touch-screen controls, fluid animations, and polygon graphics comparable to what you’d see on a PS2. However, in terms of gameplay, Chaos Rings is disappointing. The RPG mechanics are pretty shallow, the plot and characters are inane, and the dialogue is poorly translated from the Japanese version. (Or, perhaps it’s well-translated but poorly written; obviously, there’s no way for me to tell.)

The second game, Infinity Blade, is an on-rails action RPG. Gameplay consists of a series of one-on-one battles, where actions like attacking, blocking, and spell casting are performed by particular gestures or by touching certain on-screen buttons. From a technical standpoint, Infinity Blade is even more impressive than Chaos Rings—in fact, graphically it could easily pass for a current-generation console game. As for the gameplay, while the combat is fun at first, it starts to get pretty tedious after a few hours. Still, for $5 it’s well worth checking out.

Going mano-a-mano with a Titan in Infinity Blade.
I’m glad the iPhone’s screen isn't any bigger, because that’s about as much of that guy as I care to see.
Although both of these titles indicate that iOS gaming is headed in the right direction, they also highlight the fact that the iPhone has a long way to go before I would dare consider it a “serious” gaming platform. Of course, if one is looking for some meatier game offerings in the interim, there’s always the option of playing ports of actual console games, such as Secret of Mana.

One last thing... if you’re an achievement addict like me, then you’ll be pleased to hear that iOS boasts a “Game Center”, where you can rack up all the meaningless cheevo points you want. Consider yourself warned.

Criticisms

Now, we come to my favorite part of the program: the bitch list. In order to maintain my reputation as a hardened critic who eats Apple fanboys for breakfast, I’ve compiled a list of my biggest gripes with iPhone 4S. Here we go:

Shoddy Google support. ;One of the things that drew me to the Android platform in the first place is that I’m a heavy user of Google products. ;In switching to the iPhone, I was assured by many of my friends that I would still have access to my Google email, contacts, and calendar. ;While they were technically correct, I can’t help but feeling misled. ;You can indeed use Gmail as your iPhone mail service, but it has only a small fraction of the functionality of the web interface. ;For example, you have the ability either to delete or to archive messages you don’t want in your Inbox, but not both. ;(Hopefully a Gmail iPhone app will remedy this... if they can get their act together.) ;Other Google products are similarly crippled. ;(For instance, if you want to sync your Google contacts, it can only be done by hooking your phone up to the software equivalent of a bloated, rotting cow carcass, by which I mean iTunes.)

The battery is a lie. ; Well before reports came out that iPhone 4S’s battery life performs well below specifications, I noticed that something was amiss. ;Like a lot of other 4S users have been reporting, I’ve been charging my iPhone two to three times a day, though I had chalked it up to new-user zeal. ;Hopefully this issue is a software and not a hardware problem, and will be fixed soon.

iCloud is a joke. ;Sync with the cloud! ;No more iTunes! ;Despite sounding like a dream come true, iCloud is pretty much useless unless you want to switch all your mail and calendar services over to Apple products. And since any third-party app that needs to interface with files on your computer has to go through iTunes anyway, you might as well accept that your favorite overgrown beast of a music player isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

App limitations. ;There’s no way of getting around the fact that the iPhone puts some pretty binding restrictions on its apps. ;Although this helps protect the operating system from poorly-designed and malicious apps, it also means that there are a lot of cool things that iPhone apps just cannot do. ;With great power comes great responsibility—and clearly, Apple has decided we can’t handle either of those things.

A random gripe. ;No matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find an easy way to set one of my iTunes songs as a ringtone. ;Apparently, even though I’ve ;legitimately purchase a ton ;of digital music, Apple still wants me to pay for ringtones separately like it’s 2003?? ;Although eventually I was able to find a number of apps and other workarounds to deal with this issue, it still grinds my gears.

Summary

I’m not saying I’ll never own an Android phone again, but for now I’m pretty happy I made the switch. ;Nevertheless, owning an Apple product is a dangerous prospect. ;Every day I use my phone, I worry there’s a chance I’ve mistakenly drank the Kool-Aid that turns people into mindless Apple zealots. Only through ceaseless vigilance and unyielding negativity will I be able to avoid being subsumed into the Cult of Apple. ;

It’s a grueling prospect, but I’ll endure it... for the apps.