Comparative Gender Studies

My wife is about five months pregnant with our second child. Recently, we had an ultrasound where a person claiming to be an expert in such matters told us we should expect it to be… a girl. (She actually said—and I quote—“Look, you can see the labia!” Suffice it to say, that phrasing didn’t help ease me into the whole situation.)

Since our first child was a boy, I’m still wrapping my head around the concept. It’s not that I don’t want a daughter; it’s just that I’m not sure about the ramifications of trying to raise someone whose personality I may not understand very well. Of course, when explaining this line of reasoning to a friend of mine, she said: “You’re just being sexist. You may end up having more in common with her than your son. Maybe she’ll even like video games!”

While my friend was trying to make a serious argument about the subtleties of gender identity vis-à-vis parent-child relationships, I decided to miss her point entirely, and instead fixate on just the last thing she said. Maybe she’ll even like video games? WTF??

I suppose the reason I was so impacted by this statement is that I hadn’t ever considered that there was an alternative. I mean, wouldn’t she like video games? What’s not to like? Is there some sort of fundamental incompatibility between the female sex and the most technologically elegant form of entertainment that exists in our modern era?

Lara Croft: an entitled, self-centered, homicidal bitch with no respect for the archaeological scientific process and impossibly large breasts. What a great role model for my daughter.

I suppose I’ve always known that gaming was a stereotypically male interest, but I hadn’t given it too much thought before now. (I know my wife doesn’t really play video games, though I assumed it was because she grew up on a dairy farm, and you can’t hold an NES controller if your hands are always wrapped up in cow tits.) If video games do appeal more to men than to women, then I would like to find out why this is the case. To this end, I’ve concocted some theories (based on absolutely no expertise or evidence) that I’d like to share:

1. Traditionally, video game narratives focused on male protagonists. With modern games, however, this is less and less the case. In fact, many games allow complete character customization to an almost ridiculous level. If you happen to be a half-Asian, half black shemale and you want your Mass Effect character to look just like you… well, we have the technology.
2. Another argument would be that video games focus on typically male interests, namely killing things in various ways. I’m not sure I buy this argument either, as most of the women I’m friends with seem pretty vicious, and would likely enjoy sawing a Locust in half with a chainsaw if they gave it a chance.
3. A third argument is that video games are basically masturbation, which—I think most people would agree with me here—is also a male-dominated form of entertainment.
4. Finally, there’s the tautological argument: women don’t play video games because, well, they don’t play video games. Maybe they just didn’t grow up with this stuff, and so it’s hard to pick up as an adult. I like this last argument the best, because it means my daughter has a chance.

Any of you gamer chicks out there want to chime in? What do you think?

Review: Grand Theft Auto IV

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been a bit off the grid these past few months, picking through disarrayed bits of my post-graduate-school-life and trying to rebuild something resembling a normal, healthy human being. Of course, what better way to get with the times than by reviewing a game that’s more than three years old? This week I’ll be reviewing Grand Theft Auto IV, which is actually something like the eighth or ninth title in the franchise. (Apparently Rockstar Games has decided to take their sequel-counting conventions from Square Enix, makers of the upcoming title Final Fantasy XIII-2(a), Part 3, Paragraph 5.)

Design: 5⁄5

After making the genre of sandbox games their bitch with their breakout title Grand Theft Auto III on the PlayStation 2, Rockstar has consistently refused to mess with a good thing. Thus, the basic structure of GTA4 is identical to previous games. As protagonist Niko Bellic (a swarthy ex-military Serb with a receding hairline), first you complete a mission, then you run around in a giant city doing whatever the hell you want with little-to-no consequences until you get bored, and then you advance the story by doing another mission. In this game, your playground is once again Liberty City, although it has evolved from the generic metropolis of earlier GTA games into a full-blown parody of New York City, replete with the Rotterdam Tower (modeled after the Empire State Building) and the “Statue of Happiness”.

I don’t know if it’s the accent, the hair, or the sociopathic tendencies, but the ladies sure seem to love this guy.

The thing that impressed me the most about this game is the same thing that blew me away the first time I saw GTA3, namely the sheer size and scope of the environment. Liberty City is absolutely massive, and you can zip around all four major islands without having to sit through a single loading screen. Furthermore, while you’re tearing around the city you’ll run into (and over) a surprising number of NPC’s, each exhibiting some fairly sophisticated artificial intelligence. (They still largely suck at driving, though.)

In fact, if I had to pick a design flaw in this game, I’d have to say it’s the total lack of mission checkpoints. A few of the missions are quite long and challenging, and nearly all of them start with a long drive accompanied by expository NPC dialogue. That means after the second or third time attempting a mission, you’re about ready to shove whatever chatty derelict is in your passenger seat right into oncoming traffic.

Artistic: 5⁄5

For a game that’s aged three years by the time I’ve written this, it still looks amazing. From its dark, gritty slums to its bright, vibrant tourist spots, Liberty City really does look and feel alive. To get the full effect, make sure you take a helicopter ride at some point.

Liberty City looks so real, you can practically smell the urine right through your TV.

Of course, you can’t spell Grand Theft Auto without “auto”, and this game features a nearly overwhelming selection of makes, models, colors, and styles, ripe for the taking and rendered in exquisite detail. Steal a car and smash it up, get it dirty and then take it to a car wash, get it fixed and then drive it off a pier... it all looks great.

Narrative: 3⁄5

Rockstar really tries to work a story into this game, and I respect that. Unfortunately, when it comes to the sandbox genre, a cohesive plot and player freedom are almost always at cross-purposes.

“Air traffic control” is just one of Niko’s many areas of expertise.

For example, no matter how dark and troubled Niko’s past, I can’t imagine how it could be bad enough to reasonably excuse his carefree attitude toward vehicular manslaughter (which constitutes the majority of how he spends his time, at least when I’m controlling him). Maybe the moral nuances of the plot would have been more compelling if I had engaged in less wanton, senseless violence in between missions... but honestly, asking me to show restraint while playing a GTA game would be like asking me to count calories at an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet. It’s just cruel.

Gameplay: 4⁄5

On the surface, one would think I had fun playing this game... however, the truth is that after the first 10 hours or so, I honestly started to think, “You know, this isn't as much fun as I thought it was.” (Believe me, I was as surprised as you are.) I can think of a few possible reasons for this phenomenon:

1. The lack of checkpoints, which made some of the missions (including the final one) extremely frustrating.
2. The sheer size of the city. Liberty is so big that to drive anywhere takes quite a while, and so by the end of the game, I was pretty much just taking taxicabs everwhere to fast travel. Maybe GTA isn’t as much fun without the “A”.
3. One ill-conceived achievement, which rewards you for completing the story missions in less than 30 hours. Why someone would reward you speeding through a sandbox game is beyond me, but what’s worse is that I still tore through the last third of the missions to make sure that I got it. Anyone who’s read this post knows I can't resist an achievement, no matter how much it ruins my gameplay experience.
4. Perhaps prolonged exposure to ultra-violence actually started to bother me on some sort of psychological level. This explanation seems the least likely.

Regardless, there was something not quite right about this game for me, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. (I suppose there’s nothing more pointless than a critic saying he doesn’t like something, but doesn’t know why.)

Summary

GTA4 may have made some amazing technical strides, for the most part it plays like any other modern Grand Theft Auto game. If you’re in the mood for engaging in another title from that fine pedigree, GTA4 should be more than worth your time.

Hiatus

With this post, I’m officially returning from a four-month hiatus. It’s been a whirlwind summer so far, including but not limited to major life events such as thesis defenses, graduations, new jobs, and pregnancies. (You know, it’s apt that the word “hiatus” comes from the Latin word for yawning, because my hiatus has not involved very much sleep.)

Regardless, I’m back now. In fact, I’m so back that I’m making the following pledge: from this point forward, there will be a new blog post every Tuesday and a new game review every Thursday.

Now, you may doubt me (and given my track record, you’d be justified). However, I’m very serious about this. New posts. Every Tuesday. Every Thursday. Even holidays. For example, I’m told Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday this year... who knows, maybe I’ll be so filled with the holiday spirit of slaughtering turkeys that I’ll end up playing this game.

I’m just kidding, of course. If I’m playing anything around Thanksgiving, it will be The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim or Saints Row: The Third. I assume the choice will depend on whether the tension of spending time with family is better eased by murdering dragons or hookers.

On second thought, why do I have to choose? Maybe this year I’ll need both.