Review: Fable III

It’s been about 50 years since your father (the Hero of Fable II) defeated Lucien and became King of Albion. While the billowing smokestacks of Bowerstone’s industrial district indicate much has changed in the past five decades, many things have also stayed the same; for instance, it’s still acceptable to start a conversation with a stranger by clucking like a chicken or farting in their face. The protagonist of Fable III is the youngest son of the former king, who at the beginning of the game flees the castle to escape the oppressive rule of his eldest brother, the current reigning monarch. Shockingly, it is soon revealed (by the same blind, manipulative bitch as the last game) that it is his destiny to lead a revolution, become the new king, and eventually defend the kingdom against a terrible ancient evil.

Genesis

For the past five years, I’ve been keeping a document with all of my video game conquests. It’s a tiny little Excel spreadsheet, a few hundred kilobytes summarizing thousands of hours of triumph and heartbreak. I keep it as a secret penance for a guilty pleasure; I figure that if I’m going to permit a box of wires and plastic to occasionally preempt my personal and professional life, then I should at least record the experience for posterity.

Terminating each row of this spreadsheet is a little review—barely a tweet’s worth—so that my future self will know what I’d thought of the game into which I’d just sunk a substantial chunk of my life. However, as the years wore on, it became harder and harder to contain my opinion in that one little line. I compensated by talking about video games to people who couldn’t care less: cab drivers, homeless people, baristas.... even my wife. Suffice to say it was a dark time.

Then, an elegant solution revealed itself to me... I could just write a longer review! In fact, I could even put it on the Internet! And thus, this blog was conceived. Worst case, it’s a lonely, unread repository for a bunch of my opinions on video games and gaming, opinions I would have put in writing regardless. Best case, it will be a way for me to relate to others the experiences of another 30-something man-child trying to balance his family, career, friends, and hobbies with his passion for (and addiction to) video games.